Friday, August 24, 2012
I have a friend and school mum, who I will call Angel (cause she is) who along with the rest of her family (husband and kids) foster children.
All I can say is that I am in total awe of Angel and am immensely proud to know her and her family.
This past weekend was however very hard for them.
Let's take a few steps back.....
Last year they started fostering, they had an older girl for a few weeks and then they looked after a 6 month old baby whilst the adoption papers were going through. Angel worked with the new parents to ensure they understood the baby's routine for at least 2-3 weeks prior to the baby leaving them and she was also available to them for a few weeks after to ensure they had a smooth transition.
At the beginning of this year they got a call and were asked to take a 3yr old for a couple of weeks, short version of the story is that it turned out there was a 1yr old sibling as well and the services were going to separate them. Angel said NO, she declared that it was in their best interest to keep the siblings together as long as possible especially as the services were already considering inter family adoption of the siblings separately.
So Angel started appearing at school with 2 extra people in tow.
It shocked our whole world, well the small community of mum's who are all friends because we all have kids the same age. We were shocked because the children were adorable, friendly and full of life. It surprised us that ones so young could have so much spirit after the neglect they had suffered.
However, 6 months later and these 2 little darlings were still in Angel's care! Yep the system was not working really really hard to place them, they seemed happy with the care they were receiving. Which on the one hand is a lovely compliment of Angel and her family but on the other hand not good for the little ones as they really needed to start having a settled permanent life. Now although Angel was working hard to get these children settled she was never happy for them to be taken from their family and placed into another family whilst waiting for adoption, she was determined that they would not be moved around the system too much if she could help it.
So after a lot of communication from Angel to the services they have finally managed to place the older child with extended family. An aunt who lives a long way away from here and has family herself but has the heart to take on 1 more.
This is where the sad part comes in folks......
The 3yr old, who we have all grown to love, who runs up to us and gives us all hugs every time we meet at school, who has had a birthday whilst with us all and is now 4yrs old and has even started to make friends because Angel pushed for the child to attend Kindergarten whilst in her care.
The same little person who when asked how are you? Would answer with either of the following answers "I'm naughty or I'm good"! Has left us all this past weekend. The process finally worked and the child has moved with their aunt.
It was sad. I have never known a community so hit be sadness over the loss of a gorgeous little 4yr old.
They will be sadly missed, we wish them all the best in life, we wish them nothing but happiness and the ability to be a 4yr old from now on, not someone who had to fend for themselves and siblings! We hope all their dreams come closer and they have a happy life.
However, the 18 months old sibling is still with us and I can see further sadness and loss when their finally get placed.
It has definitely been a village effect with these children and we have all been involved and until this past weekend I don't think any of us realised just how much we were involved.