Goals + 5%

I actually achieved my 5% weight lose goal last week, but due to an issue I didn't want to mention it until I had been to weigh in this week. Just to clarify that it was correct.

It seems that people have got into the habit of wearing the same clothes each week for weigh in, this is because it is amazing how much certain items can weigh.
I was lucky enough to be wearing a pair of jeans the first week I weighed in, so I decided to continue wearing them, especially as winter was coming our way and I knew I would be wearing them most Fridays for the next few months.
I have also managed to wear the same pair of shoes each week so have been happy to weigh in wearing them. However last week my ankle was playing up so I wore my running shoes, now these are known to weigh about 500g-1kg so I took them off. Then I had a wonderful weight lose of 500g which took me right down and under my 5% goal, but if I had been wearing the correct shoes would it have happened?
Who knows, so this week I made sure I was wearing the exact same things and yes I definitely got my 5% goal and also lost another 500g this week (that is 1kg in 2 weeks).

So now that I am well aware that I did achieve my goal then I can celebrate and let all know what I have achieved. Oh and also what else I achieved this week.......

The other goal I have achieved this week is the completion of my 2nd essay for the paper I am currently studying.

First essay was due in Apr 17 and I succeeded in passing this paper with 78%. Yea me.
2nd essay got sent off today and on completion of marking, which I know I will pass (positive thinking here guys!) then I will have achieved my 3rd paper and only have 1 left to complete this year.
Although on completion of the next paper I will have successfully completed my Bachelors Degree in Nursing.

So by the end of this year I will have achieved my degree and lost weight, what better way to end a year.

Studying

As many of you know, I am currently achieving my Bachelors Degree in Nursing.
Whilst this sounds amazing and you think I am well organised to be able to work, run a family and live and also get this, let me tell you a little secret, it is all by correspondence and I have been working as a nurse for the last 16 years, so these are not topics I am unfamiliar too. Also due to when I completed my training depended on how many papers I needed to complete. In my case that is 4, so by doing 1 paper a semester, it is taking me 2 years to complete. I am coming to the end of paper 3 so almost there.
In fact ask me again by about end of October and you will find me partying and praying that my last essay is a pass and then I have a degree.

Anyway, this course has been very easy but then to an extent I think they have made it very easy and sometimes this bugs me!
Shut up and go with it I can hear you all say but how can I not wonder when things are just too easy. Bear with me on this.

For starters I don't have to attend any lectures at all. I can find out sufficient information by reading some books and writing the essay. Good job I am not trying to learn too much from this.

Each paper has 2 essays, that is all you have to do to complete the paper. However the marking is way off. In order to pass the paper you have to get an overall mark of 50%. Now that is not 50% per essay that is 50% in total from both essays.
So if you pass the first essay with 60% and pass the next essay with 80% then overall you pass the paper with 70%. Well done you.
However if you fail the first essay with 40% but pass the 2nd essay with 60% then overall you have a score of 50% so you have passed the paper! Meaning that you can fail 1 of the 2 essays as long as you make up the marks on the other essay!
To me that is not right? If you fail part of the course how can you actually pass the course?

I am now on paper 3, essay 1 has been handed in and we are desperately waiting for the results, which are taking a long time in being available.
However whilst we are waiting we do currently have essay 2 to complete.
The essay was due May 17, but a week after the first essay was handed in we gained an extension. Yippee for us so now it is due in May 24.
Last week they distributed a template to assist you in writing your essay. Yes rather than getting you to write the essay from just reading the question they have actually given you a template which more or less gives you ideas and suggestions on how to write the essay.
Then a few days later they gave you a table that showed you how to distribute the words for each section so you get the correct word count for the essay!
Are you telling me that anyone writing a 2500 word essay at Degree level is unable to correctly distribute that amount of words over 5-6 sections? Come on people this is degree level 7 here, not 1st grade English essay writing!

Then today, after they have had a lecture about the essay this morning, we have suddenly gained another extension! Now ok this extension is only from 9am Thursday morning to 4pm Friday afternoon but why do I get the feeling that yet again they feel the students can't cope so lets give them more, much more.

Last year was a little of the same. I actually attended a lecture and at the end the tutor said she would be answering questions on the essay due if anyone wanted to stay behind. Well she went further than that she more or less explained what to write.
She stood at the front and went through each part of the essay step by step. More or less saying 'well in the first section they want you to define xyz, so you need to look up a definition of the words and write what it means....start the sentence something like "the definition of ........ is ......... which means ......." Oh and don't forget to reference where you got the information from.

I knew something was going wrong when she had to explain to the class one time how to reference in an essay. You are meant to integrate the references whilst writing the paragraph.

For example - The world is round (Smith 2010) although many have challenged this theory and often wonder if the world has extra parts on the side (Bates 2009).

Most of the students on the course were doing the following:
The world is round although many have challenged this theory and often wonder if the world has extra parts on the side. Smith 2010 (always just writing a full paragraph and putting a single reference at the end!)

I am not sure how I managed to drive home that day without driving off the road from shock!

Now I just keep joking that by Wednesday I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't an example essay available online for the students to use where they just have to insert words at appropriate places that are relevant to their chosen topic!

Study Time

So once again my study has commenced!


I am bound by deadlines and essays, research and commitments.
I am heaving my brain into an area it doesn't like to go too often but in fact once it gets there it actually enjoys what it is doing.

I had my first trip to Rotorua which consisted of being there by 9am for a 2 hour lecture and then turning round and driving straight back again so I could finish my day at work!
It was a busy morning, but not one I will have to repeat too often as I feel that I do not need to attend all of the tutorials available and in fact I am not expected to either, so any I do attend are a bonus.

But I do know the goal at the end and that is that come November I will have a Degree in Nursing and that in itself will be one of the biggest things for me to have achieved presently. I will attend my graduation ceremony with much pride and celebration next year, so watch this space.

Party Time

As I mentioned here, I have finished my study for the year.
The party could start as soon as I received my result......

Let the party begin I got my result....70% which gives me an overall garde of B+ for this paper. Along with the B+ I got on the first paper then I am way happy and quite satisfied with that thank you very much.

Summer here I come.....!

Studying

I have finished my 2nd paper for this term.
That means, unless I have to resubmit (which god help me if I do!), I have finished all my study for this year.

And it was that easy folks, 2 papers completed throughout the year and only 2 more left to do next year and then hey presto (if only a magic wand would help!) I will have completed everything to obtain my Bachelor Degree in Nursing.

It has had its good moments, like passing a paper with 85% through to tearing my hair out when I can't find any references to back up what I want to say not what they would like me to say!
I have had stressful moments when I wonder why I am putting myself through all this, and only at Degree level when everyone tells me it should really be at Masters level! But there have also been times when I know why I am doing this and know this is my only way forward, this then spurs me to keep going, because then I know I only have myself to answer to when things don't go how I would like them too.

So the year of study has ended, I am not happy with this paper but also am not going to stress over it anymore. You can gain 40% of the mark just on presentation, correct referencing and correct academic standards alone, so to gain about 60% which I will be perfectly happy with I really only have to get 25% to match the 35% I normally manage to collect for the presentation side.
This 60% along with my 85% (pure fluke I am sure) from paper 1 will give me an overal mark of about 70% and that is still a B, so a B on both papers of this year is excellent in my eyes and that is all that matters.

Let the holidays begin

Blow My Own Trumpet

Occassionally you can be really proud of yourself and feel like you want to tell the world.
Unfortunately some people then think you are showing off when all you really wanted to do was celebrate when you have achieved something great or be proud of your own success for just 2 minutes.

Well this is one of those times when I am going to pronouce to the world how wonderful I think I am and how proud of myself I am too.

I am currently, slowly, completing my Degree in Nursing. This entails 1 paper every 6 months and each paper requires 2 essays.
The first was Nursing Knowledge and I completed this between Feb and Jul of this year. The results for that paper are as follows:

• Essay 1 = 79%
• Essay 2 = 72%
• Overal Paper Mark = 76% = B+

Yea for me, well impressed with myself

The 2nd paper I am doing is Law and Ethics within Nursing, this is being completed from Jul through to Nov.
And yes the reason I am writing all this is because I just got my result for essay 1 of this paper.
Now before I give you the result, let me tell you I felt this was one of my worst papers, I did everything in a 48 hour window one weekend (in fact the weekend as it was due!) and when I went through the marking sheet as answering the questions I really only put myself in the low 60's, but then I didn't care as I only need 50% to pass the paper.

So it is no wonder, as I sat at my desk this morning at work that I let out a little celebratory yippee as I read the result of 85% for essay 1.

I am very proud of myself and I want the whole world to know it.
Now I just have to complete essay 2 in the next 3 weeks and I am done with study for this year and have a nice summer holiday till Feb next year.

New Job

Over the last 4 years this seems to be something I have blogged about often.
My career within the last 4 years has been eratic to say the least.
However this time I am not leaving a company to move somewhere else I have just accepted a secondment to a project for a year.
It means no clinical hands on nursing for a year but that doesn't both me too much.
But it does mean that I get to use all the knowledge I have acquired over the last 16 years on how things work.
When we were in Auckland I had just started to get an inside look at how management worked within nursing, I am not totally clear on how it works in this hospital, nor do I know who does what senior role within the hospital, but believe me I am about to learn all this.

So I now have to find a decent wardrobe to wear to work each day, I was in surgical scrubs up until now, and get use to meetings and emails and sitting at a desk.

But hey, I like a good challenge.

Inspiration

As many of you know, I am currently working towards achieving my Batchelors Degree in Nursing. Yes I am a nurse but I only have a Diploma, so am upskilling myself.
Now I am doing this all very slowly, 1 paper every semester, and seeing as each semester is about 5 months long I am therefore only getting 2 papers done a year.
With 4 papers to complete it is taking me until the end of next year to complete.

I am doing these papers by distant learning and that is where it can be hard work, however I have managed occassionally to get to the 1 lecture available each week, however the lecture is held in Rotorua which just happens to be 1hr 20mins drive away, so a huge afternoon away for just a 2 hour lecture.

The last sememster however finished in June, although my last essay was due in end of May (which I passed successfully by the way). This new paper just started at the end of July, so I had down time of nearly 8 weeks and thus lies the problem, my mojo for the next paper has yet to be sparked!

So yesterday I winged wheeled my way to Rotorua for the first lecture I could manage to get to, even though this is currently week 4! I even managed to leave dinner cooking so the family had something to eat when they got home before me.
And I am so glad I managed to get to the lecture. It was the total inspiration that I needed to kick start me into getting this paper completed.

Like the last paper I have 2 essays to complete on Nursing Law and Ethics and Leadership. 1 due middle of September and the 2nd due end of October. Neither essay is going to take too much to complete but you need the inspiration to hit the ground and run with it.

I will always be the first to admit that distant learning is not for me, it is hard and I struggle with the lack of contact with other people. I enjoy going to lectures as I always come away from them with some new information that helps me further, but then isn't that the whole point of lectures, to help you further even if you have to do reading yourself?
This lecture just goes to prove it, things fell into place yesterday and I know realise that I was looking at things from a slightly different angle and am now back on the straight again.
I have managed to rearrange family life and work so I can attend the next 2 lectures as well and hopefully this will assist me further and all will be fine.

The course tutor obviously has faith as she was already asking me which paper I am thinking of starting next year with ??

One Little Step Forward

I have done it........!
"Done what?" I hear you ask....
Submitted my first essay for my degree course I am currently undertaking in all that spare time I have between work and family and life!

Not totally happy with it, but happy enough to hand it in on time, but at the end of the day I only want to pass it, not ace it with flying colours, although that would be nice :)

Next one is due May 10, and then if I pass both of them I have completed the first paper for my nursing degree, only 3 more papers left to do after that!

One foot in front of the other, keep breathing and smiling and it will all fall into place.

Logical Mind with an Unlogical Heart

Alex has been toilet trained since just after he turned 3. He just decided one day that he was no longer wearing nappies during the day!
After 2 weeks we were trained (took 9 months with Ben!)

Unfortunately we have had a small problem with Alex in that he is unable to get a through a whole day without being wet. Now we are not talking about wetting himself instead of going to the toilet, we are talking about dribbling, so that he is wet at some stage in the day and sadly it is not enough for him to notice and so therefore he wanders around in damp undies (which yes, do smell by the end of the day!)

We have taken him to a Urologist back in March of this year to get checked out, just in case he needed anything doing. Nothing apart from learning so new little tricks when peeing.
On and off we have been toddling along since then. We have had some good monents and some not so good moments.
Unfortunately it all comes down to the fact that we now have another appointment with the Urologist in November.

I have a feeling he might suggest that we give Alex a circumcision.
My mind knows that this is the most logical thing to do, with being a nurse I have seen this procedure done many times, so know all about it.
Unfortunately my heart is telling me different things and the thought of having to take him into a theatre and watch him go to sleep and then leave him makes the muscles around my heart ache at the thought of it.

Now the whole stupid thing about this is that I am a theatre nurse, have been for 15 years. I have watched countless operations over the years, taken many parents away from their children once they are asleep, comforting them as we walk down the corridor, reassuring them that all will be well and that they will be back with them soon.
I now how it all works, what happens, where he will be, who will be with him, the whole works but it does not seem to make any difference!

Not long after I started working in theatres, I remember talking to my mum and telling her how I wondered why some of these parents who had knowledge about the whole procedure got so upset when their child had an anaesthetic?
She said until I was a parent I would never understand the heart ache involved even when you know it is totally for the better.

Well I am now beginning to get a better idea of exactly what those parents were going through when I was a young innocent nurse many years ago.

I Quit

All I have accomplished today is the desire to QUIT.
Quit study that is, not life or work!

Last week I managed until 2pm before I have a major breakdown, unfortunately this week it only got to 10.30am.
I kicked, screamed, swore, yelled, cried  and generally lost it. My notes flew across the study and I walked stormed out of the room slamming the door behind me.

I am in a very low dark place at present and know that this is not rational thinking, but my emotions are on the edge and everytime I think about what is involved and how the hell am I going to achieve it more tears well up and threaten to flow.

I don't know if I am making this harder on myself or whether it really is this hard? But it is just not coming together. I have spent the last 4 Wednesdays going round and round in circles. I don't know whether I am missing the point or whether this is the whole point!
I am in week either 6 or 7 now and my first essay of 2000 words is due next week. Sadly I do not even have 3 words let alone any evidence to back up anything I want to write. The subjects are just not sinking in, I don't seem to be grasping an understanding of the whole thing and if I have to look for one more resource I think the computer will get it!
The course tutor has said to stopping looking for resources and to just write something down, but when you are struggling to understand the subject it is difficult to write anything. The 1st essay is in 4 parts and I am still only just trying to digest part 1, so I can't even move forward onto part 2 because otherwise it seems like a whole waste of the time I have just spent.
I don't seem to have taken any steps forward in the weeks since I started the study, I just seem to have gone backwards the whole way, way back actually.
I knew from the start of this adventure that me and distance learning just did not meet in the middle, I knew this was going to happen but had to start the ball rolling to see if it was achieveable because this was the only option available!

To say I am struggling is an understatement, I am lost, I don't know where to turn, what to look for, even how to find it. I seem to be wasting a lot of time trying to find a resource to only find that that one was of no use what so ever and have to start all over again.
I have the ability to access online databases, but am hitting brick walls there. I have the library at the hospital but limited time to get there but it takes time to go there and I am finding I realise I need something from there and then end up taking an hour out of my study time to manage to get the one resource which again then in turn turns out to be something that really has no relevance at all.
It has got to be easier than this, it has got to be a little simpler than this, it can't be this hard?

I know why I am attempting this study, I know what the end goal is, so please I don't need to be preached to about 'just think what you are working towards, just think about how you will feel when you achieve the end goal?' I know all that, don't think for a second it doesn't run through my head all the time. That is part of what makes this so frustrating, knowing that to a point this is my only option to achieve the goal I want, that is what makes it so hard, I know there is no other way.

I don't want to quit, I know that one of the papers I have coming up next year will be fun, I even think I may do it in the first semester next year instead of the 2nd because I know I will get through it and love it. But at the moment I have a very large black cloud hanging above me and I can't see my way out of it to even get to the end of this paper let alone move on to something else!

Skool Time

Bac to Skool update over here
I might just be about to finally start my first paper