I have confidence in sunshine
I have confidence in rain
I have confidence that spring will come again
Besides which you see I have confidence in me
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!
Just as Maria sang in the Sound of Music, confidence gets you everywhere.
I have confidence, I know I do as I am a strong, stubborn independent woman.
However over the last few weeks my confidence has been shot to pieces and I have managed to question my ability to do my work!
I have resigned from the current position I am working in. I am being brave and do not have a position to go to. Not for lack of trying either.
I am currently, till Friday anyway, working at a desk job looking at the business side of the hospital. It has been interesting, I have learnt some stuff but it is not me.
I do not have the business knowledge to do the job and that has become apparent.
It was a little kick in the head to have them acknowledge this as well and they have been very nice in letting me take time to find another position before kicking me out on the street.
However it is very obvious that they don't have much confidence in me and I am therefore loosing confidence in myself. I know I don't know how to format a document in the way they require. I know I don't know how to word certain things how they would like it to be worded so it sounds and looks great. I don't have that business knowledge.
I am grateful for the time they have given me to secure another position but I can't keep sitting in an office where they seem perfectly happy for me to sit doing just about nothing, everyday.
It is knocking my confidence. It is knocking my confidence in my ability to achieve anything, to obtain anything to even have the ability to do my old job.
So I am out of there. I have walked. I have given them the paper required and taken my leave.
I currently have 3 job applications that I am waiting to hear on. All 3 jobs have closed and I am waiting to hear if I will be interviewed.
The waiting game is sometimes the hardest part.
So life is a little slow at present. My enthusiasms is a little low. Doesn't help that it is currently winter here and that can make you feel low and lifeless anyway. At the end of the day snuggling in bed and reading a book is great fun, but I can't keep doing that, there is more to achieve.
I am still here, I am still reading blogs and commenting, I just don't have anything to write about at present, although I do, I have an award to write about that I received. I have a post about the Fieldays that we attended last week. I have a swap that I took part in that I wanted to write up and several other things. But I just don't seem to want to at present!
Is that bad?