Monday, June 29, 2009


A 75 yr old lady rings her local hospital and this conversation follows:

"Hello, I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?"

"Do you know which ward she is in?"

"Yes, Medical Ward, room 5-1"

"I'll put you through to the Nurses Station"

"Hello, Medical Ward, how can I help you?"

"I would like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. I was wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?"

"I'll just check her notes for you.........I'm please to say that Mrs Tiptree's condition has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow"

"Oh that is wonderful news, I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!"

"You seem very relieved? Are you a close friend or relative?"

"No, I'm Mrs Tiptree in room 5-1. Nobody tells you f*#k all in here!"

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