Thursday, June 12, 2008

Wedding Ettiquette

Sadly I can't wait for Shannon to do a 'backwards' WFMW as this question is burning inside me and I want to have an answer.
So I am sorry that I am doing a backwards one on a normal WFMW.

Now as you are all aware I am getting married in September.
Everything is going fine and all bookings are coming together really well.
Who ever said that organising a wedding was a stressful time? What were they talking about, although ask me that at the beginning of September!

Anyway, my question at present is this......

"Even though we have placed an RSVP on the invitation, do you chase people to get a reply or do you automatically assume they are attending and count them in the numbers for the reception. Or do you assume because they haven't RSVP'd that they are not coming so therefore don't include them in the numbers and then have the embarassment of them turning up on the day and not having a seat for them?!"

What is the right thing to do?

People have until Aug 18 to RSVP and we have informed the restaurant that we will give them finally numbers at the beginning of September.

Do I follow up with people closer to the time or do I just leave alone??

3 comments:

Theresa said...

if you get an answer to that question, let me know. I'm in the same boat. The wedding responses were to be in by June 1st, I haven't heard from 8 people. There are 40 people invited to the wedding, a small wedding at my home. Do I call them? Do I assume that they are not coming? It is very frustrating.

Blessings on your wedding. What are you wearing? My wedding is on July 12th and I still do not have a dress.

Stefanie said...

My best advice is that you should contact those people (who unfortunately have no courtesy). Chances are the ones you assume are not coming, have every intention of being there and vice versa. I actually had a very large wedding and had to call a lot of people. But it is worth it. You then have a real number and don't end up paying for people who had no intention of showing up.

Melissa said...

It's unfortunate that RSVPing by hand is considered optional, but when you think about it, it's not on our radar these days when so many people email rather than write letters. Or they think "I MUST rsvp" and the thought is so strong that they think later "yep, I did that".

Do what I did: collect the written RSVPs and then, a couple of days before your caterer needs the info, start calling your list of MIAs. Be nice about it: "Hey, I'm sure this just got lost or I must have misplaced your RSVP, but I wasn't sure if you are coming or not... we'd love to see you there, are you going to make it?"

Believe me, no one will be offended. It's frustrating to spend the time calling, but you'll feel better knowing the exact count and also realizing that no one wants to make it rough for you; life gets in the way of perfect courtesy sometimes, that's all.

And if you are looking for a dress, google your town + the term "sample sale" to find great dresses off the rack. Hopefully you will find one that won't need too much alteration.

Melissa
Atlanta local scout, brides.com